Dear readers, I've been grappling with whether or not to share this piece since last Sunday. The journey towards healing and faith, towards wholeness, is anything but a straight line. It’s messy. Yet, I believe there's something valuable in these words, a shared experience or a moment of recognition. So, here it is, my heart laid bare, a piece born out of sorrow and contemplation.
Today, I immersed myself in a sacred communion, surrounded by the gentle glow of flickering candles and the deep resonances of familiar Byzantine hymns. The Divine Liturgy unfolded around me, reconnecting me with my faith after years of infrequent church visits.
The gospel reading, a poignant story of the woman who suffered for twelve years captured my heart, reflecting my own search for healing and wholeness. Living in the shadows, marked as unclean, she still held a resilient belief, thinking, “If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole” (Mark 5:28, KJV). I saw my own struggles and aspirations in her desperation.
Tears fell freely as her story vibrated through my being, allowing me to feel her pain and daring me to share her moment of revelation when “straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague” (Mark 5:29, KJV). In the sanctity of the liturgy, her experience served as a vivid reminder that grace is an ever-present reality and healing is never out of reach.
In my heart, I reached out alongside her, longing to experience the transformative touch of faith. As the service continued, I felt a gentle shift within—sorrow dissipated and the weight of grief and regret I've been carrying with me all these years began to lift. "Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague” (Mark 5:34, KJV), His words whispered a promise of a new beginning.
Today, I opened my heart.
Today, I wept, I prayed. And, I hoped.
Through the Divine Liturgy, I found a space that welcomed every part of me—the broken, the healing, the lost, and now—the found.
Today, I rekindled the warmth of faith and community.
Today, I touched the hem of His garment, daring to dream of a future filled with wholeness.
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